UPDATES AND THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY
First of all, it's been a while, blah, blah, blah....so I am now a recommended brown belt, 3 more tests til black belt. I have gone from 399.6 to 354.4 lbs now, and am on track to be at 300 by the 1/2 marathon April 26. So that's that.
I started reading "Irresistable Revolution" by Shane Claiborne, and it has been messing with me. I'm up at 5 AM reading about Mother Teresa and work with homelss and lepers in Calcutta, and Shane talking about looking for an authentic Christian, just randomly calling Mother Teresa on the phone and doing a summer internship there......who does that? Later I'm driving to work, listening to a new song I'm learning for praise band at church, "Mighty to Save", and I'm sitting in my car, tears running down my face, listineing to the Hillsong folks sing "Shine your light and let the whole world see, for the glory of the risen King".....wow, I've just been struck with my own complacency today.....not only do I take God for granted by often not fully grasping the gravity of the words I sing to Him, but I have neglected the simple but difficult call to "shine my light", and go about my life trying to make a difference for the Kingdom, doing all I can to help those who have need to meet their need, and for those in need of a Savior to find Him. I'm lazy, and I find myself wanting to say, "you can't beat yourself up for not moving to Calcutta or something". Can't I? Shouldn't I?
Not that God has only one place to serve- Mother Teresa said that there were "Calcuttas" everywhere, wherever there was need. We have a whole world in need, and need even in our affluent little burg, and yet I find myself content to sing my songs of love and sacrifice, yet not only do I not sacrifice or love ACTIVELY, but often I don't even take the time to ask myself if I know or agree with what I'm singing. "My God is mighty to save". That's true. "He rose and conquered the grave". True. "Everyone needs compassion, love that's never failing". True.....so true. What am I doing about that? What are we doing about that?
10 comments:
well good, I'm glad you talk about these things here so I can unload too. This will be like my private confessional booth, k? Like let's pretend we're Catholic for a moment...ha!!
Lately my issue has been apologetics. I got on this huge kick and was reading everything I could get my hands on, from Pascal's Pensees to contemporary theologians.
Then...voila. The crazy stuff just started rolling at me like a freight train. First it was the Mormons in my dance classes...then the Methodists who told me "we're not religious"...then (in succession) I discovered one of my online friends was a Jehovah's Witness, and another was a Unitarian Universalist.
I was really shocked. I was trying to meet other CHRISTIANS, because I feel isolated and wanted to talk about spiritual things with other people who believe...but every time it would turn out like that...and I started to pray "Jesus get me away from all these nuts. Can't I have a Christian friend? please?"
and my mom was like "you probably shouldn't be praying that." DOH.
Anyway the whole thing makes me want more margaritas, which I'm sure is sinful. In some way.
Hey, here's the thing- we NEED other Christians. The Bible never says that people came to belive and follow Jesus and then went off and did their own thing. In fact, in the book of Acts, when the "church" began, 3000 were baptized that day, and then right after that it says that they continued to meet together in homes, they ate and prayed together, and they shared all that they had with those in need. All this "not religious, all-roads-lead-to-God, Oprah book of the week" religion is just that, RELIGION. God doesn't ask s to be RELIGIOUS, to just pick a set of rules and follow it- He asks us to be like Jesus, and I think what you're experiencing is what Jesus did- when he was about to be crucified, he asked his disciples to pray with him in the garden, and he was upset when they fell asleep....because he NEEDED THEM.
Wow, man, this got really preach-y....sorry about that. Bottom line, truth is truth whether it's comfortable or popular or not, and it generally is NOT. Satan's big accomplishment has not been getting folks to turn into devil-worshippers, but getting folks just slightly off-track with half-truth- that's more dangerous than a blatent lie. Anyway, drink your margarita, I'm just slightly on the side of liberal on that issue, but be encouraged that you are asking the right questions.....and then go out and get that book, Irresistable Revolution. It's crazy, but it seriously might resonate with where you are right now.
It's unfortunate that I like the Baptist church so much, because between the whole "ballroom dancing" thing and the margaritas, I'm not a very good Baptist. :( But I can't be a Methodist, because they don't even believe that the scriptures are God-breathed. I'm so picky, you know. ha.
I was just looking for communion with other believers and I got the exact opposite. And I was wondering if I'm supposed to be doing something with that...but it wears me out and I don't want to deal with all of the half-truths and Oprah crap. It grates on my nerves like a 10-pound cheese grater.
Wow, I don't know if you meant the grater weighs 10 lbs, or whether its a grater that is made for 10 lb pieces of cheese....either way, your nerves have to be SHOT!
Hey, I KNOW what you're feeling. We were so burned by our church experience, but yet we knew we needed the church, so when we moved to Nashville, we hopped fromc hurch to church trying to find a place we fit in and felt was in line with our beliefs.....we never TOTALLY found it. The problem withthe church is that it is full of people, messed-up, sinful people....even the leaders. Man tends to deviate from what God intended all the time, and so the church has been no exception. We "major in minors", harp on dancing and drinking while ignoring needs and insulating ourselves from a fallen world. It sucks. We suck.
The good news is that you're not stuck. If you disagree with the way things are done, change them. If they won't change, walk. People try to tell you you're not committed, or you're a trouble-maker looking to get what YOU want out of church, I like to see it that I am sticking with my convictions, and trying to find like-minded folks to encourage and support eachother.
And don't worry about "being a Baptist".....as far as I know, we were never called to be identified denominationally, in fact, I think all the divisions we've made to Christianity make God sad. Worry about being a believer, a follower of Christ, and go where that leads you. Geez I'm preachy today! Let me tell you what to do for a while! Wow. I'm gonna go chill now.
well I wouldn't be telling you all of this if I didn't want you to tell me what to do. I'm bossy by nature, so I don't mind it in other people. :)
I have felt the frustration of the whole denomination thing, and that's why I don't really call myself one or the other - I just say I'm a Christian. But nowadays that doesn't mean much. Lots of people call themselves Christians, but don't give a fig about Christ. It's incredibly common and disheartening.
I had one woman tell me this weekend, "we got to the Methodist church just to sing in the choir - we're not religious".
I was like.......eh? Like how do you deal with something like that? I'd prefer to deal with atheists than this kind of stuff. It's sickening.
It reminds me of Revelation, where it talks about being lukewarm, and how God says he'd rather they were hot or cold (about Him), but sine they were lukewarm, He was going to spit them from his mouth. Those folks who sing in the choir but don't mean the words they sing make God mad too....probably more sad than anything, as He watches His kids go through life meaninglessly. Imagine how you'd feel if you watched your grown kids giving you some gift they just carelessly pulled out of the clearance bin...not really caring what ir why, but just satisfied that they feel better about themselves for getting you something. That crap makes me mad.
I'm back to leading worship in the church we attend- I only do it once a month, but I'm also teaching the youth how to lead worship, and I have had to have so many conversations about WHY we do what we do....not just how to sing a song, what notes to play, but do we MEAN what we say to God...it MATTERS. It's sort of the most important thing in life. WHy did God create us? Think it back to the beginning, and the only reason for us to be, is to reflect the greatness of the creator. A weird thought, one which selfish humans strugle to understand, but we were literally made to worship....so someone singing in the choir just to SING, makes me mad. Sing in the community theater, sing in the shower, but don't SAY things you don't really mean, or that you aren't at least wrestling with.
The answer is, just move to Nashville, and we'll all start a church together, where we cut the crap and live like Christ-followers. No problem, right?
actually, all joking aside we are trying to move to the southeast in a bad way.
Let me know if you know anyone in engineering in that part of the country. :) (and use my other email - this one was just for fun but now I realize how stupid it is to have 14 different email accounts.)
that's cool that you're leading worship again. I remember what a great voice you had. awesome!! :)
oh.I was thinking about this some more.
In recent years I have heard the same condemnation from many pastors, as far as the "church hopping" is concerned.
On the one hand, I felt bad that maybe I *was* trying to find a church that suited MY needs, and that is selfish..
but on the other hand, are we supposed to stay in a church that is spiritually dead, in the hopes that WE will have some good effect on the others?
I think of the admonition about not being yoked with unbelievers....well if I go to a Methodist church I'm surrounded by 80% unbelievers nowadays, it seems.
So what's the right thing to do? When we're stuck in a church that spends all of its time fundraising for huge new buildings and preaching about tithing (how convenient) - should we stick it out? Even though we aren't learning squat about God's word?
When we're stuck in a church that is so "baby" that we can never get past the milk to the meat of God's Word? When we thirst for the deeper things, and want to seek them out?
I'm just never sure if I'm doing/believing the "right" things, and it drives me crazy.
Here's where I'm at with that- I'm DONE listening to the "wisdom" of self-serving pastors.....sounds harsh, but I've been fed a line of bull from too many well-meaning pastors who only had growth on their mind- don't go shop forever, becuase you will only frustrate yourself, but if you are not being encouraged, fed spiritually, and held accountable, RUN don't WALK somewhere where you ARE! I decided I"m sick of the church this week. I think I'll just start my own....that's such a scary thought!
go ahead and start one. LOL I'd join up but I'm too far away. And you know, you could just start out as "weekly bible studies"...if it's too scary to call it your own church right away. :P
my parents are going to a little church that is starting out, too. They like supporting it because they don't have all that drama (yet). I know that with growth, comes the inevitable problems of not being able to "feed" everyone.
One of my favorite novels by Frank E Peretti is The Visitation. It's about a pastor who is all burned out on church, and becomes a hermit in his house. One of my favorite passages is where the new young pastor rolls into town, and comes over to his house to give him a pep talk on "taking this town for Christ". lol here's the part that cracked me up:
"..you'll always have a contingent who wants to dance in the aisles and fall on the floor and have battles of the prophets and insist that leg lengthening services are the answer to everything, and if you try to bring some balance to all that stuff they'll start their own faction and accuse you of 'quenching the Spirit'."
Gotta love those Pentecostals. lol
Being a pastor has got to be such a headache, I don't know how men do it.
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