BEGINNING
Today feels strange, as if I am standing on the edge of something I can't see; there is a huge unknown right in front of me, and, try as I might, I can't see into it. I need to take the first step, and that may be all it takes to provide clarity, but it's always that first step, isn't it?
We have started down the road that ultimately will lead us to Nashville; we have announced our resignation, or, as I put it, our "moving on" (so as not to leave the leadership with questions to answer), and are trying to get ourselves submerged into new waters. The first problem has been needing both jobs and a place to live, when the apartments want proof of income to rent to you, and employers want proof of residence to hire you. What's wrong with this picture? I think that we've worked it out, though, and everything is going ahead. Yet in the back of my mind, a doubt has managed to linger (big surprise), and it's literally a day-to-day struggle to stay on-board with this whatever-it-is-God-wants-from-us plan.
Does anyone whom God chooses to do something unknown and new ever feel ready to do it? Am I more like Moses, or more like Thomas? Is it my mustard-seed-worth of faith, or my daily doubt that defines me? More questions than answers today.
6.14.2005
6.10.2005
LOTS TO TELL
Man, so much going on right now. We are in the process of saying goodbye to our congregation here in Findlay, and getting started getting moved to Nashville. What a weird series of events. For those of you just tuning in, My family and I (along with our small entourage) have decided to follow God's leading to Nashville, even though we have no idea what we'll do when we get there. We feel out of place, disjointed and detached from the body here, and it came into light when the elders noticed something was wrong. It's hard to grow and thrive in a ministry paradigm that doesn't fit you.....or is it that I don't fit it?
Anyway, God called, we're answering; the details will be of little consequence. There's some lesson to be learned, some experience or some knowledge to be gained, and we're going to go find out what it is. Fear, nervousness, sadness, anger- we got it all here, but we're going to go ahead.
Amid all of this, my brain has been in overdrive- I've read more books in the past 3 weeks than I read all of last year. The Emerging Church, Emerging Worship (both by Dan Kimball), Facedown (Matt Redman), The Book of God (Wangerin), and currently The Church in Emerging Culture (Leonard Sweet and others). And I wonder why I can't sleep at night. My paradigm has been shifted so many times it's doin' the electric slide. Good stuff. Yeah, so that's me today.
Man, so much going on right now. We are in the process of saying goodbye to our congregation here in Findlay, and getting started getting moved to Nashville. What a weird series of events. For those of you just tuning in, My family and I (along with our small entourage) have decided to follow God's leading to Nashville, even though we have no idea what we'll do when we get there. We feel out of place, disjointed and detached from the body here, and it came into light when the elders noticed something was wrong. It's hard to grow and thrive in a ministry paradigm that doesn't fit you.....or is it that I don't fit it?
Anyway, God called, we're answering; the details will be of little consequence. There's some lesson to be learned, some experience or some knowledge to be gained, and we're going to go find out what it is. Fear, nervousness, sadness, anger- we got it all here, but we're going to go ahead.
Amid all of this, my brain has been in overdrive- I've read more books in the past 3 weeks than I read all of last year. The Emerging Church, Emerging Worship (both by Dan Kimball), Facedown (Matt Redman), The Book of God (Wangerin), and currently The Church in Emerging Culture (Leonard Sweet and others). And I wonder why I can't sleep at night. My paradigm has been shifted so many times it's doin' the electric slide. Good stuff. Yeah, so that's me today.
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