ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER...

Or so I thought until, having opened my e-mail this morning, I found some rather strongly-worded advice about my blogging exploits. I believe my good friend Tim called me a Boobah. Pop-culture observation #46: PBS is in the business of SCARING THE LIVING CRAP out of the parents of its children's programming viewers....seriously, the LIVING CRAP. No joke.

So, we're excited to have Melony, Aletha, and Ryan (aka Still Water Sonnet) on the road and beginning to do concerts every couple weeks. They sound great, even if they didn't let me vote on the name. They won some studio time at the County Fair, and now they're really starting to take off. It's weird to be at this stage where we're still waiting to see what, if anything, their music ministry turns into. Having fun though.

God is working on me right now through some song writing, getting my feelings out and feeling some things I never got to feel before. I've fought getting close to anyone for so long, and it has hurt a lot of relationships I have. It was even hard to open up and feel the hurt of losing our second baby almost exactly two years ago. but, like I said, God's been doing His God thing, opening up some doors to understaiding and feeling, and it's really been good. Not fun, but just good. Praise God.

A NEW DAY

It feels good to be the proud owner's of a new car; a car that won't stall at intersections, a car that I don't bang my head on getting into and threaten to curse, a car that is NOT our old car. Thank You God for helping us find our happy little PT Cruiser! It makes me giggle....ok, not really (ok, so it does....sue me). After marathon price negotiations, we finished up somewhere around 10:00 last night IN DAYTON, we visited family for a few minutes and returned somewhat safely to Findlay by 1:30 A.M. After some laundry duty, I snuggled into bed at a refreshing 4:15, only to be rudely awakened by my alarm clock at 7:15. So, here I sit, bleary-eyed and disoriented, but happy to be alive, ready for the day (to last 3 hours), and proudly sporting my favorite (and only) red shirt. That last one was totally unrelated and really of no consequence whatsoever, but, as I said, I am disorientateddddddddddddddddddd.
All is well here at the church, Things are rolling along. Not much to report at present. And....if there was....I probably wouldn't remember.....wait, oh, nevermind.

TWO MONTHS & A DAY LATER

I am still alive, though barely so after two months of ministry craziness. In the process, I had a great time of renewal at camp this past week, helping me to look at worship with a fresh excitement. In other news, though related to that same time of renewal, I am saying goodbye to a good friend and fellow minister who is moving to Georgia. It has been hard to admit it, but it bothers me; it seems as though we are constantly in the process of saying goodbye to those who are close to us. Anyway, things are mostly good, with the exception of that sense of loss.

"ASPS, VERY DANGEROUS"

I have become convinced that my role in life is to fulfill the role of, "guy who will do anything for a laugh". I have been a school mascot at the high school and collegiate levels; I have been Chuck E. Cheese; I have taken pies and various other baked goods in the face on more than one occasion. But, it seems that recently my forte has become the role of "sidekick". This year marks the second time I have been the annoying and silly sidekick of the main character in a Vacation Bible School. This year's embarrassment comes in the form of a carbon-copy of the character "Salah", from the Indiana Jones movies. Picture yours truly in a white pinstriped suit and paisley tie. Yeah, scary. Yet another chance to make some kids happy at my own expense. Kids rock. Somebody make me stop.

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME...

Yeah, we're never leaving home again. We go to Indy for the 4-year anniversary EXTRAVEGANZA (it was that exciting), Mel gets food poisoning, and we come home to a flooded basement. I had a near-meltdown experience, and after God back-handed my will a few dozen times, we finished cleaning up the mess and it ended up being no big deal. Not one of my prouder moments, however, as I refused to take a moment and pray when we found the mess, because, as my interior monologue lamented, "God is teaching me about OPPRESSION today!"

I know, I am pathetic. Bask in the awe-inspiring speck that is my faith! I love You, God, I am just really bad at remembering that. Back-hand away.

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

So, it occured to me today that the biggest thing I accomplished today, or this week for that matter, was leg-pressing 1000 lbs, 6 times. Now, I was happy about it, and I prayed before-hand that God would help me do it (or at least that He would keep me from droppin an O ring). It worked, I guess, as I had no problem doing it, but later as I headed back to work, I thought, "Is this it? Is this the most important thing I can accomplish on any given day?" I guess I just wallow in self-pity, when I see those around me who seem to know exactly where they are going, and it seems clear that God is fast-tracking them there. This is probably an ignorant assumption, as perception is often far removed from reality, but.....it feels true.

I am a perpetual whiner....I need to stop. Life is so great in so many ways. I have no right to complain, but I do it on a regular basis anyway. Let me know if you happen to see God trying to tell me something; I'm usually whining to loud to hear him. Thanks.

LIKED IT SO MUCH, I STOLE IT TOO!

In case you miss it in my links, this was written by Greg Hubbard out in Las Vegas, and copied as well by Tim Wheeler. It's interesting.

Two Theories to Try On You
Today I had a phone call from a lady from So. Cal. with questions about how we do what we do as Apex. I have the privilege/challenge of such phone calls at least once or twice each month. I found myself throwing out two ideas that I have come to believe, and I thought I'd throw them out here for all those in blog-dom to read as well . . . .

1) People in general can not be accurately labelled as "churched" or "unchurched" anymore (or even "believers" or non-believers"). Sure, some people fit completely into one of those labels. But most people do not. Most of us have a complicated, even bizarre, spiritual story. People's stories are often a stew made up of ingredients borrowed from the kitchen cupboards of life. They've dabbled in a little of this and a little of that.

As those loved by Father, we aren't so much trying to identify who is "churched" (so we can get them to jump over into our brand of church) and who is "unchurched" (so we can save their souls from fiery damnation) as we are looking for occassions to come alongside others journeyng through life to see where our stories and theirs might intersect and where we may help each other grow. We trust our Father will use us through these intersections to reach out to others.

2) Successful, large churches (although good in many ways) are going to miss out on reaching two kinds of people.

The first kind are those who will never come to anything called "church" (no matter how far the church stretches to reach them -- even if the church serves beer and hires strippers, there are some people who just aint coming if it is called church!).

The second kind are those on the opposite extreme who have been so reached by the church, who have jumped through every hoop offered by the church to the extent that they, in a sense, have grown beyond what the model has to offer. They are ready to go out and live lives loved by Father, embracing freedom, sharing life in their spiritual community, and sharing love with the world. They have drained everything they can out of the large, succesful church, and in many cases, they have given all they can in service through those churches. They are ready and equipped to be sent out.

Large, successful churches may well have an important function for years to come. However, their ultimate success may depend upon their ability to appropriately acknowledge and deal with the fact that they are limited from reaching these two extreme groups of people, both of which are a growing part of the population in North America.

NEW DAY, NEW BLOG

I have reformatted. Yes, the transition is nearly complete. Try to contain your excitement. Do you ever just have those days when you feel like changing things? Sometimes I just move my office furniture around out of frustration with normality. I think God wired me to be restless. Or are we all that way to some degree. All I know is that I periodically imagine myself wandering blindly into all kinds of different situations, and it doesn't really seem that scary or strange to me. My issue with God at the present is that He seems to have created me with the ability to do a few things pretty well, but then never let me know where he wanted me to concentrate m time and attention. It's annoying not to have all the answers! Oh how I ling for omniscience!!!!!!!! O.K, yeah, I saw Bruce Almighty, I know how that line of thought ends.

Anyway, if you read this post, pray that I can stop being a big freak and listen to God. I mean, don't say it that way, but you get the idea. Man....I am a freak.

MOTHER'S DAY, AN EXERCISE IN FUEL CONSUMPTION

Great weekends are composed of several elements. Fun, sun, friends, family, and HOURS OF INTERSTATE TRAVEL!!!!!! Two states, one day, too much food, and lots of exciting twists and turns. Props to our friends Justin and Tasha Golden (A.K.A. Dividing The Plunder)for being on the radio in Richmond, IN playing the title cut from their CD, "The Ordinary" (was that "announcer-ish" enough?).
Props to my mommy for seeing me a grand total of 5 minutes and not decapitating me. Props to my man Seth, who tracked me down after meeting up with my sister at 4 AM at Bill's Donuts (probably no website, but if you are ever in Centerville, OH.....EAT MANY DONUTS AT BILL'S!!!!) Finally, props to Seth's mommy for sending our wedding gift with him after three years....that's some serious scary memory, ok.
It feels good to go home. I don't know if it's just that "going home" feeling when you visit, or if we really just miss the homeland (So-Ohio in the hizzle for rizzle!). THe baby keeps asking to go to Cincinnati for some odd reason, even though she has never been there in her short life. I guess we just miss the family connection, and the chance to interact on a relational and spiritual level with those we know or have known in the past. We've been in Findlay over a year, but fitting in is still tough.
By the way, WAY TO GO GOD!!! It has been already a string of successive great days, good for mowing grass and frisbee golf, and I like it.

I'M UP, I'M UP!

Props to my man Tim for continuing to e-mail my sorry behind despite my prolonged internet absence. I gave up on e-tech for a while due to the UNBELIEVABLY, EXCESSIVELY SLOW INTERNET CONNECTION, not to mention the worm that ate through our entire office network. I am back from the DL, and ready to rock....O.k, so time has told the tale that I will probably lapse again, but I know that, "And knowing is half the battle". Life has gone on here "much the same as it has this last age".
I am excited for Mel and Aletha to begin their ministry of music; they're practicing and getting some connections made. I am enjoying music more and more, growing in my guitar prowess, and playing drums for the youth praise band (temporarily, til we grow some more drummers.) We are trying our level best to seek God's guidance in the plan for our life and ministry, but are chronically impatient. Story of my life. No new kids (you guys are definitely winning that race, Tim), no major disasters; life is comfortably numb. I don't actually WANT a bunch of stress, kids, and disasters, but they do tend to keep life exciting. That's me in less than 5 minutes- hoping, praying, playing, living, breathing, waiting for the page to turn.

O.K., I'LL POST!!!!!

Upon having my life threatened multiple times for not posting anything, I decided I would. Life just sin't that exciting as of late. Hanging out with church folks, worship-related stuff, and youth keep us pretty busy. Mel and the girls are beginning to work on their singing thing, and I am trying to see if I can make it through one day without caffeine. So far, not so good.
Anyway, the search for meaning continues, interrupted by occasional days of purpose and results for the Kingdom. It's generally far from explosive, but I am beginning to see the very real benefit of relationship building I have tried to do over the past year. We shall see. At any rate, all is well, or at least all is normal, or comfortable, or whatever. As for the FRIENDS WHO BLOG section (Melissa), I have yet to update it, particularly with the blog sites of people who have not TOLD ME THEIR BLOG ADDRESS!!!!!!

BIGGER FREAK

O.K., so I get a reply from the editor of worship magazine, the owner of the company. Bruce Adolph is his name, and he proceeds to assure me that he didn't specify that you could only enter once, so it was ok by him. Secondly, he tells me I may want to unsubscribe from a couple of the newsletters, so I don;t get the same thing over and over. He rocks, I just feel totally useless. Thank you God for convicting me. The humiliation of confessing to someone who could have cared less was a nice touch, as well.

I'M OFFICIALLY A FREAK

O.K., confession time. It's good for the soul. I signed up online for a subscription to WOrship magazine, and at the same time, entered a contest to win a Taylor guitar by subscribing to their e-newsletter. THe bad part was, I decided it wise to sign up for all the e-mail accounts I have access to (7) in order to improve my odds. THEN CAME THE GUILT. I have obsessed over this thing for two days, and then, out of the blue, the editor of the mag calls me last night at home to confirm my subscription. Perfect chance, and I, of course, CHICKEN THE CRAP OUT!!!!! Sooooo, I spoend 30 minutes looking up his personal e-mail address today, and send off this e-mail asking him to take me out of the drawing if he can, and how sorry I am. I feel better, I think, but I feel foolish for doing it in the first place, and secondly, for confessing to a total stranger whose time I wasted in the first place. I AM A GIANT FREAK OF NATURE! Hey, if you read this BRUCE, I really am sorry.

JUST A MONTH LATER

It's official...I am a stinky blogger. Soooooo, I am gonna steal someone else's blogging idea, and inspire myself by writing "100 THINGS ABOUT ME". Arrogant? Maybe. Irrelevant? Oh yeah.

100 THINGS ABOUT ME
1. I am 25
2. I am married to Melony Lynn
3. I have an awesome daughter named Anna Lynn
4. I have hair (only til the spring)
5. I live in Findlay, OH (a frozen wasteland at the present)
6. I am a worship minister
7. Sometimes I don't want to be a worship minister.
8. Sometimes I don't want to be a minister.
9. Sometimes I get discouraged (see # 7, 8)
10. I love sugar.
11. I love hot wings.
12. I love food in general.
13. I am drastically out of shape (see a pattern here)
14. I cry (more often than I think most men do)
15. I like chick flicks (sorry, sometimes they're just good)
16. I love playing guitar
17. There are times that I would rather play the guitar than sing
18. I want to get a tattoo of Jeremiah 29:11-4 (or somethig else) in the pattern of a yamukah on the top of my head.
19. Sometimes I eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner (chips & salsa, eggs, pizza, Halloween candy)
20. I could be a better husband.
21. I could be a better dad.
22. I could definitely be a better minister.
23. I could ASSUREDLY be a better Christian.
24. The past four things are all limited to my capacity to lay aside PRIDE.
25. I feel too boring to have 100 things about me.
26. I just though of another....I like toast.
27. I like the quietness of winter.
28. I like the noise of spring when it first arrives.
29. I like having people around...all the time.
30. I like to sleep in the cold.
31. I like to stand out in the rain.
32. I like rap metal.
33. I like bluegrass.
34. I like Gregorian Chant.
35. I hate Jell-O with fruit in it.
36. I like Jell-O, but not Jigglers.
37. My eyes are blue.
38. I have 11 pairs of shoes...is that too many?
39. I fear the mission field.
40. I fear corn fields.
41. I got scared during the "If you build it, they will come" scene in Field of Dreams.
42. Spiders scare me.
43. Sometimes I scare me.
44. I often dream of punching somebody in the face.
45. I have never punched anyone in the face.
46. I have been punched in the face.
47. A girl punched me in the face...actually, it was more like my ear.
48. Getting punched in the ear really hurts.
49. Sometimes I dread going to church services.
50. Sometimes I am bored in church services (hence #49)
51. Sometimes I think we're not really the church God intended.
52. I am struggling to understand my role in God's plan for the church.
53. I like the color purple.
54. The Color Purple was a great movie.
55. I spent the past two days looking for a black shirt.
56. I didn't find the shirt.
57. I wanted the shirt because I liked the way it looked on Paul Baloche.
58. Paul Baloche and I look nothing alike.
59. I am not Paul Baloche.
60. After the 4th store, I remembered that I don't want to be Paul Baloche.
61. I stopped looking for the shirt.
62. I would like to be a writer.
63. I don't have anything to write about.
64. I would like to travel and play music.
65. I envy those who make a living from their music.
66. When I am driving along the Interstate, I often daydream of getting out and walking off into the woods, or a field, or up a hill.
67. I never get out of the car, unless it's at a rest stop.
68. I can't dance.
69. I wish I could fence (with swords, not fencing).
70. I would like to have a kilt.
71. If I had a kilt, I would wear it.
72. I make a mean cheesecake.
73. I make an ugly woman.
74. I make no sense sometimes.
75. I have been in college for 7 years.
76. I am still technically a college student.
77. I am embarrased by # 74, and 75.
78. #74 frustrates me.
79. Someone stole my guitar.
80. I get homesick all the time.
81. I get carsick all the time.
82. I don't get airsick or seasick.
83. I procrastinate.
84. I love Christmas.
85. I've never been on a mission trip.
86. I've always wanted to go on a mission trip.
87. I love to drive.
88. I am a horrible back seat driver.
89. I love the smell of Patchouli.
90. My wife hates the smell of Patchouli.
91. I am currently trying to love another smell.
92. I wish I had a dog.
93. I wish I had a life.
94. I wish I had more friends.
95. I like to wallow in self-pitty.
96. I hate to admit when I'm wrong.
97. I never wear a watch (it gets in the way with my guitar)
98. I never wear a tie (except weddings and funerals)
99. I love making lists.
100. I love talking about myself.