BABY STEPS
I'm a food addict. I am just beginning to come to terms with that. After years of beating my head against a wall with weight loss, diets, workouts, and massive failure, I have finally seen my life clearly. So today, I begin this little exercise, the first step in my admission of guilt- I am saying it out loud...well, not literally out loud, but you get the idea. I don't even know what to do from here, but as I figure it out, I will let the web know!
7.29.2010
6.16.2010
STARTING OVER AGAIN...AGAIN
So I stumbled back across this blog today, and I'm going to write myself some notes. I need it today. I've allowed myself to slip out of focus on pretty much everything, and I'm feeling it. I am drained from the feeling of failure, and weary of my own whining about it. I've done so little in the last year, and I feel THAT too. One year older, and little to show for it. I'm tired of it, but I know that I have within me the inclination to lay down and die at the first sign of frustration. So...where does that leave me? A man in need of a Savior. Great, I've got him, now what does He do with me?
So I stumbled back across this blog today, and I'm going to write myself some notes. I need it today. I've allowed myself to slip out of focus on pretty much everything, and I'm feeling it. I am drained from the feeling of failure, and weary of my own whining about it. I've done so little in the last year, and I feel THAT too. One year older, and little to show for it. I'm tired of it, but I know that I have within me the inclination to lay down and die at the first sign of frustration. So...where does that leave me? A man in need of a Savior. Great, I've got him, now what does He do with me?
5.15.2009
AN UPDATE
I never cease to amaze myself with my ability to forget about this blog....maybe I should quit. Maybe I'll have more to say soon....who knows? I am starting a little adventure for the next few weeks, leading worship at a church 45 minutes from home. Maybe I'll talk about that....maybe I'll talk about why I'm doing that or what God says about the whole thing....hope I hear Him. Gotta get my "ears" checked.
I never cease to amaze myself with my ability to forget about this blog....maybe I should quit. Maybe I'll have more to say soon....who knows? I am starting a little adventure for the next few weeks, leading worship at a church 45 minutes from home. Maybe I'll talk about that....maybe I'll talk about why I'm doing that or what God says about the whole thing....hope I hear Him. Gotta get my "ears" checked.
3.04.2009
DIVINE IRONY
It's funny the things I've never noticed about the Bible. Or sad really, I guess. I'm reading the NT this year, one chapter a day, Monday through Friday, and I am finding things IN THE GOSPELS I never noticed before IN MY LIFE. Yikes.
I like all those moments in Scripture, and they happen in life as well (life imitates art...err, truth), where God fulfills a prophecy or does something semingly ironic, right under the nose of unsuspecting people. In the crucifixion on Christ, in Chapter 15 of Mark, I guess I just never noticed all the underlying "God stuff" happening there, aside from the obvious. Jesus, as he is dying, cries out in a loud voice....pretty odd for a man dying from a form of execution that brings about gradual suffication. And oh, it takes like 3 hours, instead of days. It's so odd, that when Joseph of Arimathea asks for Jesus' body, Pilate acts surprised, basically saying "He can't be dead YET". Weird that the Son of God couldn't hang on for more than a few hours.....until you look at the big picture.
It was the day before the Sabbath, and they couldn't have someone on the cross over the Sabbath, so normally, soldiers would break the legs to speed up the process. BUT, prophecy said that no bones would be broken, so God somehow steps in at that moment and moves the process along, so that there can be no mistaking the fulfillment of prophecy. And when Jesus dies, the centurion standing there is so taken withthe way Jesus dies, he says "this guy had to be the real deal."
That's amazing to me, just the little details, the little things I've never noticed that take you deeper into an understanding of who God is, how He sees the world and His plan. Its hard to udnerstand it all, because our minds are stuck in the context of time and space, but God operates above all of that. The best (worst) analogy I could come up with to wrap my mind around that was when I was using my iMac to edit a DVD project for my wife. Now, WATCHING a movie, you don't know the end when you start, and you don't know for sure how you're going to get there. BUT, MAKING a movie, I've got all my clips dropped into iMovie, and I have a timeline. I can pull back and look at the whole thing, start to finish, and can move things around, put things together, and make the whole project make sense. I can see the end from the beginning, and can line things up in such a way that everything works together to create one story.
That's how God views the world, in my humble opinion. He sees the whole timeline of past, present, and future, and he makes it all tie together, moving people and working with their lives, the things they do, to put together the story of His creation. It's even harder because you have to factor in free will, so it's like editing a movie where the scenes constantly change. Wow. I'm tired now, that just weirds me out. Anyway, that's as deep as my puny intellect will go today!
It's funny the things I've never noticed about the Bible. Or sad really, I guess. I'm reading the NT this year, one chapter a day, Monday through Friday, and I am finding things IN THE GOSPELS I never noticed before IN MY LIFE. Yikes.
I like all those moments in Scripture, and they happen in life as well (life imitates art...err, truth), where God fulfills a prophecy or does something semingly ironic, right under the nose of unsuspecting people. In the crucifixion on Christ, in Chapter 15 of Mark, I guess I just never noticed all the underlying "God stuff" happening there, aside from the obvious. Jesus, as he is dying, cries out in a loud voice....pretty odd for a man dying from a form of execution that brings about gradual suffication. And oh, it takes like 3 hours, instead of days. It's so odd, that when Joseph of Arimathea asks for Jesus' body, Pilate acts surprised, basically saying "He can't be dead YET". Weird that the Son of God couldn't hang on for more than a few hours.....until you look at the big picture.
It was the day before the Sabbath, and they couldn't have someone on the cross over the Sabbath, so normally, soldiers would break the legs to speed up the process. BUT, prophecy said that no bones would be broken, so God somehow steps in at that moment and moves the process along, so that there can be no mistaking the fulfillment of prophecy. And when Jesus dies, the centurion standing there is so taken withthe way Jesus dies, he says "this guy had to be the real deal."
That's amazing to me, just the little details, the little things I've never noticed that take you deeper into an understanding of who God is, how He sees the world and His plan. Its hard to udnerstand it all, because our minds are stuck in the context of time and space, but God operates above all of that. The best (worst) analogy I could come up with to wrap my mind around that was when I was using my iMac to edit a DVD project for my wife. Now, WATCHING a movie, you don't know the end when you start, and you don't know for sure how you're going to get there. BUT, MAKING a movie, I've got all my clips dropped into iMovie, and I have a timeline. I can pull back and look at the whole thing, start to finish, and can move things around, put things together, and make the whole project make sense. I can see the end from the beginning, and can line things up in such a way that everything works together to create one story.
That's how God views the world, in my humble opinion. He sees the whole timeline of past, present, and future, and he makes it all tie together, moving people and working with their lives, the things they do, to put together the story of His creation. It's even harder because you have to factor in free will, so it's like editing a movie where the scenes constantly change. Wow. I'm tired now, that just weirds me out. Anyway, that's as deep as my puny intellect will go today!
3.02.2009
FEAR
You can almost smell it, it's so thick around here. I was in a worship service this weekend at our church, and the pastor was talking about stewardship. He opened up talking about several economists view of our country's financial condition, and it was mostly gloom and doom. He did bring it back around to say thatr our hope is in Christ, but not before the collective sense of fear sucked the air out of the room. People are terrified, believer and non-believer alike.
I work with churches a lot, and the recurring theme I see is that while more and more are turning to the church and to Christ, giving is down. What's the problem? Unemployment? It's 7-8 %....which means EMPLOYMENT is at 92-93%. While the stock market is down, it seems people are still making money, but they're holding on to it. It seems to me that we've done a bad job as the Church combating fear with education- making people aware of the fear being spread, and offering them hope by following what God says about the money he gives us. Part of worshiping God is obeying His Word, and His Wordsays that we are to give back at least a tenth of what He gave to us through our work.....HE gav eit to us, so ultimately He should be the one to make the rules, right?
So anyway, I choose today not to be a slave to fear, but to trust and obey what God tells me to do with what He gave me to manage for Him. That's my two cents on that.
You can almost smell it, it's so thick around here. I was in a worship service this weekend at our church, and the pastor was talking about stewardship. He opened up talking about several economists view of our country's financial condition, and it was mostly gloom and doom. He did bring it back around to say thatr our hope is in Christ, but not before the collective sense of fear sucked the air out of the room. People are terrified, believer and non-believer alike.
I work with churches a lot, and the recurring theme I see is that while more and more are turning to the church and to Christ, giving is down. What's the problem? Unemployment? It's 7-8 %....which means EMPLOYMENT is at 92-93%. While the stock market is down, it seems people are still making money, but they're holding on to it. It seems to me that we've done a bad job as the Church combating fear with education- making people aware of the fear being spread, and offering them hope by following what God says about the money he gives us. Part of worshiping God is obeying His Word, and His Wordsays that we are to give back at least a tenth of what He gave to us through our work.....HE gav eit to us, so ultimately He should be the one to make the rules, right?
So anyway, I choose today not to be a slave to fear, but to trust and obey what God tells me to do with what He gave me to manage for Him. That's my two cents on that.
2.12.2009
DRINK THIS CUP
So there's Jesus, praying in the garden, waiting to be sold down the river by Judas, possibly at his weakest moment. He says that he is "overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death". 3 times he asks God to take away "this cup", but that if He can't, then Jesus is willing to drink it. I've read that a hundred times, seen it acted out in movies, but I don't know that I've ever totally understood it.
On the one hand, it's totally clear- the cup is the pain and suffering, the sin-payment he was going to take on for all of us. Seriously Jesus, no joke, that is huge.....that's a whole lotta justice about to be heaped on him, and that's just for the crap I do! Anyway, the second time he prays, he says "if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away UNLESS I DRINK IT, may Your will be done". What does that mean? He didn't say "take the cup away, but if you can't, I'll drink it". He said, "take the cup, but if the only way to take it away is for me to drink it, then I will". Is there something more than the obvious there? My initial thought is this- Jesus knew what had to happen, but he was scared. In his request, he is looking for another way, but knows that the plan is that for the sins of the world, and the punishment for those sins, to be taken away, that punishment has to be "drunk" by someone. God can't (because He is perfect and wouldn't contradict His commands) just give everyone a do-over....someone has to take the fall for all the crud we've done. Jesus knows this, and shows it in saying that if the only way to remove "the cup" is for him to "drink" it, then he would.
And he's not saying he WANTS to, either. He says "not MY will, but YOURS be done". So it's "God, I don't want to have to die to take the punishment for their sins, but if that's what has to be done, I will be the one to do it." Wow, imagine going through that thought/prayer process, just for a second. Yikes. It's amazing that someone, even Jesus, who was fully God and fully man, could defeat the "man" within him and follow through with the plan. Thank you God.
So there's Jesus, praying in the garden, waiting to be sold down the river by Judas, possibly at his weakest moment. He says that he is "overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death". 3 times he asks God to take away "this cup", but that if He can't, then Jesus is willing to drink it. I've read that a hundred times, seen it acted out in movies, but I don't know that I've ever totally understood it.
On the one hand, it's totally clear- the cup is the pain and suffering, the sin-payment he was going to take on for all of us. Seriously Jesus, no joke, that is huge.....that's a whole lotta justice about to be heaped on him, and that's just for the crap I do! Anyway, the second time he prays, he says "if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away UNLESS I DRINK IT, may Your will be done". What does that mean? He didn't say "take the cup away, but if you can't, I'll drink it". He said, "take the cup, but if the only way to take it away is for me to drink it, then I will". Is there something more than the obvious there? My initial thought is this- Jesus knew what had to happen, but he was scared. In his request, he is looking for another way, but knows that the plan is that for the sins of the world, and the punishment for those sins, to be taken away, that punishment has to be "drunk" by someone. God can't (because He is perfect and wouldn't contradict His commands) just give everyone a do-over....someone has to take the fall for all the crud we've done. Jesus knows this, and shows it in saying that if the only way to remove "the cup" is for him to "drink" it, then he would.
And he's not saying he WANTS to, either. He says "not MY will, but YOURS be done". So it's "God, I don't want to have to die to take the punishment for their sins, but if that's what has to be done, I will be the one to do it." Wow, imagine going through that thought/prayer process, just for a second. Yikes. It's amazing that someone, even Jesus, who was fully God and fully man, could defeat the "man" within him and follow through with the plan. Thank you God.
2.06.2009
YOU GOT SERVED
Reading this morning in Matthew 25, where Jesus was talking about the Judgement, viewing men as sheep and goats. God says basically, "you're in, because you saw needs in this world and served people. As my creations, when you serve people you serve Me." It reminded me of earlier in Matthew where Jesus says, "I didn't come to BE served, but TO serve, and to give my life as a ransom". So, wrap it all up together, being Christ-like means being a servant, obedient to God and meeting needs in this world, BECAUSE of the hope we have of the next. Man, I suck at that!
My wife and I have had the opportunity over the past 2 weeks to befriend and help out a family in need, and through the whole process I've seen just how crappy at serving I really am. It's not out of outright selfishness, more just out of discomfort and cynicism. My wife had a feeling she needed to go to a certain store (she had already been to), and met a single mom there, several kids at home, living in 1 room of someone's apartment, on one mattress, because they had fled from an abusive dad. She had a baby die this week, and is just in a lot of pain. My wife just instinctively jumped into action, but of course I am being all careful and verifying the story, all that kind of thing. Of course I want to make sure we're not being scammed, but seriously, this whole process has shown me just how hard my heart can be, when it actually comes time to put my money where my mouth is. Part of my prayer today is that God makes me more like Christ, and I guess I also want God to make me more like my wife....
Reading this morning in Matthew 25, where Jesus was talking about the Judgement, viewing men as sheep and goats. God says basically, "you're in, because you saw needs in this world and served people. As my creations, when you serve people you serve Me." It reminded me of earlier in Matthew where Jesus says, "I didn't come to BE served, but TO serve, and to give my life as a ransom". So, wrap it all up together, being Christ-like means being a servant, obedient to God and meeting needs in this world, BECAUSE of the hope we have of the next. Man, I suck at that!
My wife and I have had the opportunity over the past 2 weeks to befriend and help out a family in need, and through the whole process I've seen just how crappy at serving I really am. It's not out of outright selfishness, more just out of discomfort and cynicism. My wife had a feeling she needed to go to a certain store (she had already been to), and met a single mom there, several kids at home, living in 1 room of someone's apartment, on one mattress, because they had fled from an abusive dad. She had a baby die this week, and is just in a lot of pain. My wife just instinctively jumped into action, but of course I am being all careful and verifying the story, all that kind of thing. Of course I want to make sure we're not being scammed, but seriously, this whole process has shown me just how hard my heart can be, when it actually comes time to put my money where my mouth is. Part of my prayer today is that God makes me more like Christ, and I guess I also want God to make me more like my wife....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)